


back in black- and oh, it burns!

by sopeggys



Series: toujours pur; the blood shines through [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Madness, Dark Harry, Dubious Morality, F/F, F/M, Gen, Growing Up, Life Lessons, M/M, Multi, Sirius Black Adopts Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 08:10:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopeggys/pseuds/sopeggys
Summary: One tiny detail changes everything.(It wasn’t supposed to be important, but Lily and James and Sirius were all more than just -friends-. Lily and James got married, because Sirius was disowned and but he stayed living in their house, was for all intents and purposes as much of a husband to her as James. It wasn’t supposed to be important - Harry’s paternity wouldn’t matter, either to the world or them. Amongst their friends they were an open secret anyway.The day that Harry is conceived Lily lays in bed with both. It shouldn’t have been important, but one thing changes. Instead of being James’ son, Harry is Sirius’. It shouldn’t have been important.But, oh, it is!)tldr: Harry is technically Sirius’ kid.This wouldn’t be much of a problem but he resembles his father quite strongly. This changes every conceivable thing.





	1. boy flies

A boy is crouched in a cupboard, listening for the sounds of footsteps approaching. Waits, prays for a respite, or, maybe it won’t be Aunt Petunia. Hunches down to let his waves of curling black hair cover his face.

No luck. The door is shoved open, he is shoved out.

Normal Tuesday morning.

Boy makes bacon, serves cousin, eats the half an apple he has been allotted. Boy washes dishes. Boy cleans garden.

Looks up at the sky and wishes that he could fly. A bird chirps from the tree in Number Five’s garden. Boy pulls out the weeds from the lawn. Ponders flight some more. Nothing happens.

Not until a week later- boy is escaping from pudgy cousin and ratty goons. Winds through the school cafeteria, up the stairs in the Science Block and up to the roof. When they find him, he jumps.

Boy is okay at flying, running. In another universe he would be a master. In another universe, his father passed on those hearty Potter genes. In this universe, boy is okay at these things, but he makes up for it in madness.

Flight might not be this boy’s skill, but if you believe something strongly enough- and oh, he does- it will happen. 

Boy wants to fly. 

Not in a thin selfless way. In another universe boy would want to fly, to avoid getting hurt. Use those caring, weak brain cells to want as much as he could within the limits he sets. In this universe, he has no limits.

Boy flies.

Lands on the grass just below. Boy trembles, grins and dusts off his shirt.

Make note- boy is not a thin selfless boy. When they find him, he jumps. He takes with him one of them.

Boy might be able to fly, but Piers Polkiss is not nearly so lucky.


	2. the aftermath pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first taste of not fun feelings, boy

The boy, flying is the first thing that he really remembers- and really regrets.

Piers falls.

Piers screams. The other boys scream. Boy grins a little, manically, revengeful. He doesn’t realise what he’s done. When Piers hits the ground and doesn’t get up, the boy starts screaming, too.

See? 

Now, that’s a thing to remember! When the teacher comes to berate the stragglers she sees loitering who haven’t come to class, she screams. Boy fries. The other boys cry.

Weldhott English Primary ends early. The boys are chaperoned to the Nurse, who gives them candies and hugs them and wraps them in blankets until the police arrive.

Ms. Polkiss doesn’t understand at first why the school would call her, out of the blue, at 1.53. When she comes in, and sits down shakily, and drinks the tea proffered by the Seargeant who came, and gets shown the photos, and then the body, Ms. Polkiss doesn’t do anything for a long long while. She sits on a chair in the headmaster’s office along with the police and the boys and shakes and cries and bobs back and forth. She starts to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish, then stops. Gets up and breaks down and starts screaming at the boys.

Her mascara is running down her cheeks. Boy has never seen an adult cry like that before. This horrible gaping maw in his stomach eats away st him like a worm. Boy does not like to see Ms. Polkiss like that.

He doesn’t, anyway, not for long. The police take her away and sit her down in a quiet room and let her take a minute for herself.

She goes to the bathroom and thinks about calling her ex-husband, and does, and screams at him that it was all his fault or hers and why did they ever get divorced because Piers would have been okay if he hadn’t gotten in with those nasty boys and she should never have gotten a get and why why what went wrong... Then starts crying (again) and when he doesn’t say anything, she hangs up and calls her boyfriend but he’s at work. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and curses those boys with all she has, even though, deep down, she knows it can’t have been their fault. Even if she had been able to cast curses, they would have been flimsy. Her heart’s just not in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw this makes me want to cry


	3. the aftermath pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry feels guilty, does some SUCCING ON A STREPSIL, and petunia decides ha bitch ha boy Byee I’m gonna be bad cop forever

Why that day?

The runny mascara, the tears, the screaming. 

The boy remembers how broken it feels, deep in the gut, when your victory cracks. It comes to him in daydreams, in nightmares. Boy sees Ms. Polkiss, sees Piers lying spread our, ashen, a crumpled mess of a figure, sees the weight of what he’s done.

Boy looks up at the sky, and wants and wants, with his thrumming, solid sort of want, but nothing happens. He does that for years but, though the boy is powerful, he’s not powerful enough to stop Death for anyone other than himself. Perhaps he will be, later. But that’s a question for Death herself to ponder.

Anyway. The Tuesday.

Last day of innocence.  
Last day he will see Piers, or his mother.  
Last day he will go to Weldhott English Primary.

Last day of so many things. A turning point. The Tuesday hangs in this liminal space where anything is possible. Hopes and wishes teeter. If only Piers had has a stomachache that day, not decided to chase Harry that final time. If only a teacher had blocked the path to the roof, and Harry would have gone to the bathrooms instead to hide. If only the police had investigated more thoroughly in interviewing the little boys instead of comforting the crying mother. If only the mother had taken an interest in the boys. If only...

But instead, it rolls on. The police bring them in for short interviews, but, like Ms. Polkiss, their heart’s just not in it. The nurse gives the boy a lozenge to suck on to distract from the trembling, then turns away to comfort another. He tastes the artificial honey and lemon flavour, breathes in the stale air, tries to stop and calm down, but all he can see and hear and smell is sky. The boy’s fixated on this growing, deep fear that This Is It. The Dursleys will throw him away, or leave him locked up in the cupboard forever, or push him off the roof like he did to Piers. A Strepsil can’t distract him from that.

Nearby Dudley is blubbering to the nurse. He still hasn’t looked at his cousin since everything that happened. His fat face is wet with tears and blood and anger. He oscillates between absolute numbness and the manic heights and depths of childish emotion.

When Mummy and Daddy come to pick him up, they are unusually serious, cold for the first time with him since he hit a cat once, and his Mummykins realised that that was her line. He think it’s because of Piers. That’s half of it. 

For the first time to the Dursleys, their nephew’s freakishness feels not only threatening in the unusual sort of way, but properly terrifying. Dark. 

Petunia hasn’t had to think about death since her sister. She remembers Lily, and thinks about Piers, and Lily’s little boy. She sometimes stopped and thought about it, what she was doing. Never enough to stop, but still. She looks at the photos of poor Piers and his body and decides to shed that final layer of sympathy. In her mind, the boy isn’t just rotten now, he’s evil. Inhuman. Wrong. Petunia decides to stop thinking about him as a person and never looks back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like the Dursley’s are going to get worse. 1 or 2 Charlie’s maybe and then we’re off to Hagrid and Hogwarts. I just wanted to set up what sort of home and mentality Harry is in, no  
Sugarcoating

**Author's Note:**

> Harry is slightly less nice here. Also hasn’t really embraced himself or started thinking of himself as Harry yet- hence, why he is ‘boy’
> 
> Also, this will eventually be a full au of Harry as Sirius blacks kid. Right now is more about Harry potter: early development and trauma


End file.
